I've Been Downsized: Chapter 8

Of Love…

Our son is 12-years-old. He’s very tall, and extremely handsome with brown hair and soft, dark, expressive eyes. We’ve always said he’s an old soul- wise and mature beyond his years even at the age of two. Most people mistake his age for two or three years older than he is, and the girls go crazy over him, especially in his football uniform. They all love Ethan. Yes, he’s quite the catch, but they’re out of luck. He fell in love with the girl of his choice years ago. She has white-blonde hair, brown eyes, and has eyes for no one but him. Her name is Emmy.

When my husband and I were newly married, I found a tiny little scruff of a dog wandering up my grandparent’s driveway. She was only six weeks old, and had been abandoned on the country road. I suppose someone didn’t want the hassle of a puppy and hoped she would find her way to a house where someone would take her in. As it turned out, their plan came together when I paid my grandparents a visit one afternoon. The tiny white puppy came bounding up the driveway to me, and my grandmother explained that someone had tossed her out on the road earlier. My husband and I had just bought our first house, and a dog seemed just the thing to make it a home. So, I took her home.

She was a little white puffball, so we called her Marshmallow. It didn’t take long for Marshmallow to shorten into Emmy, and that it stayed. As it turned out, Emmy was a free spirit, and she drove me crazy! She wouldn’t listen, got kicked out of obedience class, and didn’t care if I liked her behavior or not. But on December 21, 2000, that all changed. Ethan was two-days-old, and we brought him home that day. From the moment Emmy laid eyes on him, she was in love. She stayed faithfully by his side and slept under his crib at night. Over the years, they grew together, and her love was returned equally by Ethan. When he was two-years-old, he called her his dog-dog. It was one of his first words. Emmy forgot that I existed all together, because her loyalty was to her boy.

Over the past 12 years, Emmy has slept in Ethan’s bed every night. When she got too old to make the leap, he made her a bed on his bedroom floor, and made sure she was tucked in every night before he went to sleep. It has been a mutual, unconditional love.

…and Heartache

I knew the day would come, and it was yesterday. Emmy had become ill just two days earlier. She couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, and was obviously sick. Ethan sat on the floor with her and broke treats into tiny pieces, hand feeding her. Faithful to the end.

Often in life, a boy’s first real heartbreak is the loss of his dog. And it breaks his mother’s heart too. Emmy passed away peacefully yesterday afternoon. Breaking the news to her boy was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do. He took it with sadness, but understanding beyond his years. Typical for Ethan. He and my husband picked out a nice resting place for her, next to a little pine tree that Ethan planted on Arbor Day two years ago. They laid her to rest in her cozy little bed with a snack.

Today, the job search doesn’t seem as important. My goal this week is to piece back together some broken hearts. What a life experience to have loved so deeply at the age of 12. I’m not sure how any other girl will compare.

Kristina Marsh is an experienced and accomplished marketing, communications, and business process leader.  Want to connect?  You can reach me at klmarsh74@gmail.com

I've Been Downsized: Chapter 7

Living the Dream

Have you ever imagined what life would be like if you had the opportunity to spend seven weeks at home? Here’s how my fantasy went; the house would be spotless and fabulously decorated, our laundry room would finally be organized, my children would have a hot breakfast and my husband would have a home cooked dinner, my closet would be organized, and I would finally be able to clean out that pantry! Ahh, if only I had more time, I imagined, life would be perfect.

Back to Reality

So, my fantasy isn’t playing out quite the way I had imagined. All of those years I spent daydreaming at my desk about all of the things I could do if I were home. Here’s the dirty truth; there are dishes in the sink, a Christmas flag still hanging in the yard, my kids ate cold cereal for breakfast this morning, my husband ate a sandwich for dinner last night, and finding soup in the pantry is a bit of a treasure hunt. Surprised? Not nearly as surprised as I am!

In reality, the average day goes something like this; up at 6:00 a.m. with our son; drive son to bus stop at 7:00 a.m.; check email, suck down coffee, and enjoy a cold bowl of cereal; wake daughter up at 7:30 a.m.; respective daughter dressed, fed, and on the school bus at 8:30 a.m.; now, focus! This is when things are really going to happen! Look around and take note of what should be cleaned today. Today’s the day! This house is going to look FABULOUS! I’m talking pot roast on the table and candles lit when my family gets home. Clear a spot on the mantel for mother-of-the-year trophy that will be delivered today. Sit down to check email, search job boards, follow up on networking requests, revise the resume, write cover letters. What’s that noise? The school bus?! What time is it?!...

What’s for Dinner?

Sloppy joes and baked beans. It turns out the only thing that’s changed since I was downsized is our kitchen table- and not in the pot roast and candles sort of way. Instead, it’s littered with job descriptions, resumes, sticky notes, and a laptop. But my family doesn’t seem to mind. They’re happy to plop their sloppy joe down on my resume to talk about the day. No worries, I’ll print a new one tomorrow. I guess the pantry will just have to wait.

Kristina Marsh is an experienced and accomplished marketing, communications, and business process leader.  Want to connect?  You can reach me at klmarsh74@gmail.com.

I've Been Downsized: Chapter 6

“I’m Not Dead Yet”

In one of my favorite Monte Python skits the undertaker makes his rounds gathering victims of the plague. At one point, a man comes along carrying an old man to throw on the pile. The old man insists, “I’m not dead yet- I feel fine”, but they throw him on the cart and continue gathering victims.

That’s a bit like the feeling of being downsized. You’re being told your job is done, but you know there is more to do- so much life left. It can be difficult to let go.

A Shout Out to Adam at Best Buy

It happened on a Friday at a Best Buy store in my hometown. I was chatting with Adam while he set up the features on my new phone. Turns out, Adam is in his junior year at my alma mater, Northwood University. He was sharing his thoughts about his future career and all of the opportunity he can imagine. And then he asked me, “what do you do?”

Imagine my stunned silence while I tried to figure out what to say. Should I tell him the truth about my situation and turn the excitement he has into worry? Should I tell him about the job I had and leave out the little bit about being downsized? And then it occurred to me. I’m not dead yet!

My last job may be gone, but I’m still here. So, I took a breath and told Adam all about the great jobs I’ve held, the opportunities I’ve had, and how I’m looking for my next great adventure now, as he is. It was liberating and I left Best Buy feeling better than ever. Thanks, Adam!

Life Goes On

Here is the most important lesson I’ve learned this week. I always knew this, but it took Adam to help me accept it and get off that cart. My life is not defined by a company or title. At the center of my universe is a supportive husband, two wonderful children, and a loyal Golden Retriever.

So, what do I do? I’m a wife, a mother, and a business leader. In my spare time, I teach business and economics to elementary and middle school students. It turns out I have a little more spare time these days. So, this month I’ll be teaching three courses of the Junior Achievement program instead of one. That’s my next adventure. To help shape the minds and dreams of children. What a great opportunity!

Kristina Marsh is an experienced and accomplished marketing, communications, and business process specialist.  Want to connect?  You can reach me at klmarsh74@gmail.com.